my true self is grocery shopping
by Umang Kalra
cherry tomatoes are self love I think
of sophie making coffee for sophie I think
how to be soft like this how to be perfect it must
have to do with finding the right aisle music
blaring so much tea I want escape
from this but also devourment. I buy
the grated cheese because capitalism
grates your cheese for you makes labour
your luxury. I don’t own a cheese grater.
capitalism makes this okay. I think
of me slicing peaches pouring honey
like sweet cocktail glitter like desire
like forgetting / toast softened with
pretty jam, pretty flowers, it will make
me pretty. I want to bite into the peaches
right there. I want to bite into the sky outside
and call it names. plastic flavoured orange juice.
figs are only pretty in pictures. I think
of buttering a croissant: I don’t know how
to heat them right. [redacted] said never eat
a cold pastry I don’t want it to melt my flat-
mates will laugh at me if I make a mess
all over the kitchen. all the spinach is a lie.
all the fruit all the bread drinks like
another life. I carry it home. my walk
is delicious. I am careful tired so lovely
with all of my food. I want to fuck the decadence
in my arms.